Misunderstood Monday: When they want that ‘ol ‘thang back..


This can be for both men and women. I always wonder does the opposite sex have this radar where they know when to attempt to come back into your life after you’ve finally moved on? Why is it that people believe they deserve more than two chances? Why do we go back to an old fling or ex when it doesn’t work out with the last person we were dating?

Forgive and forget. I’m not one who believes in third or four chances when dealing with an ex whether it was serious or on the verge of being serious. If it didn’t work out, no need in trying to force it to work. I do believe in the theory that just because you miss someone doesn’t mean you want them back or that you should reach out to them with the “hey stranger” text message. Missing someone is apart of the moving on process.

Don’t wait around. Time waits on no man and time is something you can’t get back. Don’t wait around for a person to get their sh*t together or for them to be in the space of wanting a relationship. Continue to live your life and down the line if you both so happen to be single and ready for the same thing then by all means live it up. This seems to be an ongoing trend when people. Folks tend to not be ready for the same things at the same time but yet when they finally are ready they expect you to be ready as well, mean while 6 months to two years has passed.

Stop having sex with your exes. I understand it maybe easier said than done. Perhaps its just better than adding another body and may be less complicated this way. But it can also be emotionally exhausting and you’re not doing anything but causing confusion , and ignoring the reasons why you two aren’t together. Remove yourself from this comfort zone. It makes you look bad, and indecisive.

The past is the past for a reason. People come into your life for a reason and even a season, once their season has ended, move on. You can’t expect to move on and find that right person if people from your past still have access to you and are lingering around in the playing field. Accept the fact it didn’t work out but take away what you learned about yourself.

No Drunk Texting. For me, once I’m done, I’m done. I delete phone numbers I unfollow you from all social media sites, if I see you out somewhere, I will leave. This may seem petty, childish, or overboard but hey this is me. Nothing worse than consuming shots all night and you go to text your ex and the next morning you’re like “wtf did I do that?!”. They say a drunk mind speaks sober thoughts , this can make you seem as if you don’t know what you want, you’re desperate and you’re settling.

You don’t need a back up plan. No need to have that black book or that list of old dips to reach out to when your bored, lonely, or hungry. Allow yourself to be completely single. Allow yourself to get to know someone new with no expectations. When you have a back up plan you’re already expecting this new situation to fail. You shouldn’t have any strings attached to old exes.

Success is the best revenge. Now no need to be bitter or petty. We know how it goes, you post a picture on Instagram, or Facebook and all of a sudden the direct messages are poppin’ from your ex. They’re seeing how nice, and fine you look. Don’t fall for it. We all can appreciate attention, and compliments but there is nothing more satisfying than knowing they realized what they’re missing out on.

Just because someone knocks doesn’t mean you have to answer. Don’t feel guilty for leaving the past behind. 

Thanks for reading ! Happy Monday


  1. Courtney Lynn

    YES to all of this…I have been way to generous to my exes in allowing this to continue to have access to me. It’s def something I’m working on.

Hey love, thanks for reading I would love to know your thoughts on this post. Comment below!