Talk Tuesday: How To Tell If You Are The Other Woman

Living in a world that revolves around social media, it has been pretty difficult for people to date. When you do find someone who you’re interested in and begin to date, how can one simply tell if they are not the other woman? When you ask a guy if he is single do you give him the benefit of the doubt right away that he is telling you the truth? Some of us don’t have trust issues, some of us still give a person the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise, but for the rest of us well…

Today’s topic has been suggested by a supporter of I Am Ms Honey. Honestly, there isn’t a handbook, or reference guide that you can read and it will tell you if the guy you’re dating has a main lady. There isn’t a checklist that you can mark off every time you have your suspicions or if certain actions don’t add up. A woman’s intuition is everything, always go with your gut. I haven’t been in  many serious relationships and I haven’t blatantly known if a guy was cheating on me, but I have dated guys and I fell back when I had the slightest thought that they were shuffling women.

One situation I can recall, when I was in college. I was talking on the phone with a guy all the time, we didn’t attend the same college. We had never been intimate but we did have a few dates. Honey, at 5:30am a female called my cell phone asking me 21 questions. I hung up the phone and the following day I said what was on my mind to the guy and that was the end of the situation. I refuse to fight or have any drama with a female over the male. I even checked my sources and it was confirmed that it was his girlfriend that had contacted me. I didn’t owe her any explanation , I didn’t feel the need to air him out to her, the beef she has is with him , not me.

Now a days with social media, men are exposed on a daily basis when it comes to cheating. Females have taken checking phones to a whole other level, it’s not just text messages, its direct messages on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. The issue is the guy will come across as single on Twitter and Instagram, but on Facebook his status is in a relationship, and you can see his family photos.

When it comes to dating and getting to know someone, always pay attention to their actions. There are always signs. Some guys are sloppy when they’re shuffling women, some guys just simply don’t care and won’t find it, and a select few will be honest with you and let you know they have a main lady. A few examples that may occur where it may come across that you’re the other woman and again this isn’t always the case:

  • You only see him at night, specifically after 9pm. – Depending on if he is a working man, this maybe the only time he is available, but everyone has off days. If he has kids this is also another factor to consider his hours of availability.
  • You’ve never been to his house or you don’t know where he lays his head. – He could honestly live with his parents or other relatives. Depending upon how early in the game y’all are, it just may not be time for you to know where he lives considering if he is always picking you up or meeting up with you for dates.
  • You’ve never met his close friends. – Men can be private when it comes to dating, they may not share everything with their close friends. If that is the case it may not be time to meet the homies. Otherwise the close friends know the main lady and he doesn’t want to involve them in his messiness.
  • Travel far to hang out. – If everywhere you go is rather far distance and out-of-the-way of either of your homes this maybe he doesn’t want to be seen. He doesn’t want to run into anyone that he knows, instead of simply only kicking it with you in the house he takes you out but its a long drive.

These are jus examples and there is always a scenario, and the above examples doesn’t automatically mean you’re the other woman. As I previously stated the signs are there just pay attention but don’t go looking for the signs intentionally. Always go with the flow, the truth always reveal itself.

Hey love, thanks for reading I would love to know your thoughts on this post. Comment below!